I want to live, I want to die

As I am walking across the airport to board on my plane… leaving Neverland…
Me: “Sara, is that a cat that just crossed the landing strip?”
Sara: “A cat, you are kidding right?”
Me: “Oh no! They are going to shot at him! Poor cat!” (see reference)
Sara: “I just saw a monster quest marathon on tv about a cat-man in Guatemala, spotted in the airport”.
Sara and I are sitting on the Hawaiian airline flight in Pago Pago international airport. This time the restrooms are not working, but they are working on it.

I cannot believe it happened to me. You see people coming and leaving, but somehow it is hard to imagine the day in which you will be leaving too. You are speechless. So much to say, so many hugs, and tears hold behind your eyes.
At my tofa party at work there were two pigs size-2 cooked for me (pigs only come in size 2. That is when they are still young and good for cooking). 3 years ago when I first landed on this island, at the view of the 2 dead pigs on my lunch table I would have though “ohhhh poor babies!”. Now I just feel so honored by it. I got 2 pigs: cool.
The palagi group organized another tofa party for Liz and I (Liz is leaving next week). The theme was LOST (from an American TV series about a plane crash in a deserted mysterious and illogical tropical island – mainly, a place like this). I never saw the series, but I loved all the preparation behind it, from the matching t-shirts, dharma beers, dharmahol, fish cookies… and an amazing cake representing Tutuila with a Hawaiian airline plane crashed on it… Thanks you all for organizing it!!!

It is hard to leave the island. It is a (very relatively!) safe and known nest, but it is time for me to move on. I want to live, I want to die. I want to die knowing that I truly lived my life to my best (with occasionally relaxing breaks of course, hopefully at Gio’s SPA). I arrived at a stall on Neverland. I could not grow professionally anymore; personally, well, I cannot be 26 for the rest of my life. Or I will end up being a very old 26 years old woman with many cats.
It is time to stop being one of the lost kids of Neverland, to go back to the world and to grow just a little bit older (WOW! As soon as I am touching ground in Honolulu I will be 3 years older! How did it happened?). I will be LOST out there; a ghost in a crowed world where people do not acknowledge your presence with smiles or raised highbrows when you walk or drive along THE road, but where fresh vegetable are available to you anytime. What is it really REAL? The rock or the world out there? Is it us, the lost kids of Neverland, or is it them –the wondering ghosts of the cemetery (these are the ones that left the rock). I am going trough some sort of metamorphosis on this flight…

This week has been very busy packing, mailing (where? I am so homeless! Thanks Otto for welcoming all my packs!), cleaning… my fairy ladies once again ran to help me out. Thanks girls!!!!
I also saw “walking man” actually speaking and smiling and I took a bus with one of the most famous person on the island, “bee-beep” guy at the airport. What an unusual week.
All my stars seem to be at the right spot at the right time for me. I cannot wait to have a chance to meet with them all.

“Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and longitudes”

It is 1:30am and I am ready to nap a bit, tomorrow is going to be an exciting day. I will fly to the big island, go diving with the giant manta rays, camp at a beach, and go up the mountain for the next 2 days paragliding. If I survive to this all I will write a line on the blog on Thursday for you to know that I am ok (when I fly back to Honolulu to catch the next fly to Alaska). If you do not hear from me or from Marsik –which I am going to meet in HNL- call the Hawaiian police. ;-)

Friday morning I will arrive in Anchorage, Snow Dave is picking me up and we are going to Fairbanks to get ready for a 11 miles hike to a hot spring out there. We should be back to civilization by Tuesday. Again if you do not hear from me by Tuesday… send somebody to look for us! I hope it won’t be too cold! ;-)!After that, I will be busy with the Iditarod…

I am living, I am living!