LOVE
If you know me, you also know that I have a big heart and that one of the things that makes me happy in life is to be able to love and to be loved back. Don’t get me wrong. I am not talking about having many partners, I am talking about caring for somebody, having relationships with friends in whom you know you can always open your heart and be true to yourself and to them.
When I came to this island I found these things a bit challenging. I was in a relationship that needed work; I was living out in the jungle, separated from the rest of the world by a terrible road that I would never drive after night with that old truck and that in a way kept me from meeting new people… It was just he and I. Or just I whenever he had stuff to do, and that happened a lot.When I came I here I was thinking: “white sand beaches fingered by palm tress, the sound of the waves breaking on the coral reef, tasty pina coladas, and gardens always in bloom… This is the perfect place for a year-long honeymoon”. I am sure I wasn’t the only one thinking in this way, as I know I wasn’t the only one to have a relationship that ended while here. The main challenges about love on a rock are:
-There are very few ways out. You can’t just say “I need some time by myself”, because the island is small!
-A woman should not go around by her own anyway.
- Gossips! La isla es chica! Everybody knows about everybody! I heard of a couple that divorced and made a public announcement about it. I guess this way they are done with the gossip, maybe not a bad idea after all!
-No P.D.A (Public Display of Affection) allowed! That just kills me! I looooove coddles!!!
I can see how many things may have gone differently, but after all I am happy with my decision, with my new house up on the mountain, my room-mate and my cats, my job… wow, I am just happy with all I have! And I am so happy about you all my friends, because “chi trova un amico, trova un tesoro” (“who finds a friend, finds a treasure”) and I love you all a lot! I apologize for being so far away at the moment; you are always here with me
BUTTERFLIES
Butterflies… jajaja, or jijiji, as Patricia would say… Aren’t those great?
From Wikipedia: “Butterflies in the stomach is a medical condition characterized by the physical sensation of a "fluttery" or "tickling" (hence butterflies) feeling in the stomach. Some believe that this is caused by the release of epinephrine, or adrenaline, when one is nervous, pulling blood away from the stomach and sending it to the muscles. This in turn causes the stomach to temporarily shut down, possibly the reason for loss of appetite when one is "love sick". Butterflies in the stomach is most often experienced prior to important events, when stress is induced, but can be experienced in situations of impending danger.”
To me, butterflies mean that I am like a teenager again, that everyday is perfectly shining (if there is sun) or
perfectly fresh (if there is rain) or just perfect (if there is a holiday or if it is a weekend). I am not really a butterfly hunter, but apparently they have been around me for a while. Sometimes they come because somebody puts bugs into my ear, and they keep me busy and fresh and entertained. Other times they merely totally surprise me after fun salsa dancing (my very weakness!), and they totally blow my mind off. Or they just come, take me and fly me away and they transform me too into a butterfly.
It is definitely a release of adrenaline for me, it makes me younger and stronger.
The problem with the butterflies you meet here is that they have tendencies to migrate (on Thursdays and Sundays, naturally). And I stay behind, looking at another plane taking off, thinking “wow, what did just happen?”SHORT ENCOUNTERS
Again, don’t take me wrong here. I am not talking of anything like an episode of “Sex in the City”. As a young girl I was taught that short encounters with guys are not proper, and I still think in the same way. I am more talking about something else special: because sometimes you meet a person for a very short time, but they still have a lasting effect on your life. And I have met some special people here, people that cared about me a lot even if they did not know me for too long and that opened my eyes, and people that made me re-discover things about myself I long forgot.
Y en particular, me encanteria mencionar a Antonio Luis, que encontre’ en el aereopuerto de Londres despues de 3 largo y dificil meses en Italia, en rota de regreso a Samoa, y que me regalo’ su reloj para ayudarme en mi camino. El fue el primero que me hizo acuerdar de quien realmente soy y que, aun si no lo sabe, me dio’ mucha fuerza para seguir mis dias!!! Gracias de corazon! Ojala que la vida sea contigo tan generosa como tu fuiste con migo!!!
This post is for all those people that made and continue to make my life so special…
And these are the people here in Samoa that last month helped me so much standing up again in my own feet:
And Samudra, that came from somewhere very cold and very far that i can never remember, that cuddle me, fed me with the best sri lankan food, and that stayed next to me when the most i needed her!!!
thanks girl!!
(and many more that supported me from all around the world by telephone, internet and antennas... bzzz bzzzz)
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